Hamdlillah

For a while now I have been working on a book idea about living with two nationalities. Having multiple passports has been a hot topic for a few years now in The Netherlands, the country I have lived in most of my life. My homecountry though is Egypt. The country my parents came from and where most of my family still lives.

The reason I have always felt so connected to my homecountry, the reason I traveled to Egypt at least once a year, the reason I made it through the tough times after the love of my life, my mother, passed away, that reason, the other love of my life, my sweet aunty, has left the world we live in too. And though I knew this day would come, I hoped it would take a while before it actually arrived. Even more than that I hoped that it would be quick and clean, just like when my parents were taken from me.

Unfortunately my sweet aunty was not so lucky.
And yet she never complained once! Even when I told her it was okay to feel angry or to cry she insisted there was absolutely no reason for any of that.
Up until her very last breath whenever someone asked her how she was doing she would say hamdlillah, thank God! A true inspiration to us all. And certainly a much bigger and better person than I could ever be.

But now home doesn’t feel like home anymore and I have absolutely no idea how I am ever going to finish this book.
What I do know however is that I was lucky to have such amazingly strong women in my life. They have taught me to be strong and shown me it is possible to live with pain. So I will follow in your footsteps as best I can and deal with the pain of losing you way too soon.

May you rest in peace my sweetest galtou. I hope the love of your life was there waiting for you to hold again!
And please give mommy a thousand hugs and kisses and tell her I miss her so!

In my heart forever until we meet again!

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